Honestly, I've always had a suspicion about golf because of the nature of hitting a small ball toward a small hole while wearing outlandish outfits, and then talking endlessly about it for the next several days. I escaped it at an early age as I passed the clubhouse during a tournament. Four of my friends were seated in lawn chairs with cocktails topped with tiny paper umbrellas after about 30 minutes of play. When I asked, "Are you guys done already?", they replied, "You don't have to play golf to drink". I put down my clubs, ordered a Guinness, and have never played to game again.